Several e-mails have been sent to me recently offering help with my grammar especially in the descriptions area of Da Shop. It is amazing to me that some people do not realize the satire in the language used. It is specifically designed, written, and spelled the way the words would phonetically sound from a Brooklynite. Accents from Brooklyn, Queens, New Jersey, and Long Island all differ slightly and even from neighborhood to neighborhood.To someone not from the area they all may sound the same but most are at least familiar with the stereotypes from T.V. and the movies. So when I received this e-mail from a friend about the Italian-American Goomba language I thought it would be appropriate to put it up on the site. It may shed some light on where I am coming from with this whole Scionpro site as well as explore a part of my heritage in an amuzing fashion.

This site is all designed for fun and entertainment. Sit back, read this article, laugh a little and please do not get offended by some of its less desirable or colorful Italian words. In udder werds yous guys gotta lighten up out dare!

I love this!!!

I'm sending this out to every person I know who is Italian, could be Italian , married an Italian, lived with Italians or wants to be Italian..... !!!!! Let's start at the beginning. Come stai? Molto bene. Bon giorno Ciao. Arrivederci.

Every Italian from Italy knows these words and every Italian-American should. But what about the goomba speech pattern? Those words and phrases that are a little Italian, a little American, and a little slang. Words every paesano and Bacciagaloop has heard,-words we hear on The Sopranos and throughout our Little Italy neighborhoods of New York and New Jersey.

This form of language, the "Goomba-Italiano" has been used for generations. It's not gangster slang terms like "whack" or "vig", if that's what you are thinking---nope, this is real guido talk!

The goomba says ciao when he arrives or leaves. He says Mama Mia anytime emotion is needed in any given situation. Mannaggia, meengya, oofah, and of course, va fongool can also be used. Capeesh?

He uses a mopeen to wipe his hands in the cuchina , gets agita from the gravy (SAUCE to the NJ gang) and will shkeeve meatballs unless they are homemade from the famiglia. Always foonah your bread in the pot of gravy (sauce ) or you will be considered a real coo-gootz or a Mezzo-finookio.

There are usually plenty of mamalukes and the girl from the neighborhood with the reputation is a facia-bruta, puttana or a schifosa.

If you are called cattivo, cabbadost, sfatcheem, stupido, or strunz , you are usually a pain in the ass. A crazy diavlo can give you the malokya (evil eye), but that red horn (contra malokya) will protect you if you Use it right. Don't forget to always say per favore and grazia and prego .

If you are feeling mooshadda or stoonad or mezzo-morto, & always head to Nonna's and she will fix you up with a little homemade manicott', cavadell', or calamar ', or some ricotta cheesecake. Mangia some zeppoles, canollis, torrone, struffoli, shfoolyadell', pignoli cookies, or a little nutella on pannetone. Delizioso!

I think I will fix myself a sangweech of cabagol' with some proshoot and mozarell' or maybe just a hot slice of peetza ............

So salud ' if you have any Italian blood in you and you understood anything written here! Then, you are numero uno and a professore of the goombas .

If you don't get any of this, then fa Nabola with the whole thing and you are a disgraziato. Scuzi, mia dispiachay, I didn't mean that.......Just...... fugheddaboudit !.......

Italiano Misa Understooda

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:

"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time."

"You foul-mouthed sex obsessed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't speak aloud in pubic places about our sex lives.

"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."

Steve's Signature
Scion Steve.